Sexual Intimacy and Incontinence

1. Talk to your partner
Intimacy in a relationship isn’t just about the physical, it’s also about trust and accepting each other’s vulnerabilities.

If your continence issue is because of a prostate condition, you may have erectile difficulty as well. Discussing these concerns with your partner and gaining their understanding before getting romantic will boost your confidence as well as take the pressure off any performance or leakage issue you might have.

American site WebMD has a practical article titled Erectile Dysfunction: Talking to Your Partner which may be helpful.

Broaching the subject can be difficult and as situations differ, you may wish to contact the National Continence Helpline on 1800 33 00 66 for a confidential conversation with a trained professional. They’ll be able to provide individualised guidance on all aspects of sexuality and incontinence, including having the conversation with your partner.

2. Planning
Avoid bladder irritants like tea, coffee, alcohol and carbonated drinks for several hours before sex
Cease fluids an hour or so before
Empty your bladder and/or bowel
Put a towel on the bed so you’re not worried about leaks, linen or the mattress
The Continence Foundation of Australia also has some useful tips for men to manage continence and sex including for those using a catheter

3. Experiment
Explore positions that don’t put pressure on your bladder such as side-by-side or rear entry.

And of course, there’s more to sex than intercourse! If you’re having erectile problems, consider other ways to give and receive pleasure such as a vibrator or other sex toys. You can purchase products like these discreetly online.

If you have your partner’s trust and are feeling comfortable and secure, intimacy is only limited by your imagination.