LIVING WITH INCONTINENCE
Incontinence exercise
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Talking about incontinence with your partner can be a tough conversation, but it can also be an important one. It’s common for people to feel nervous or embarrassed but having an open and honest discussion can help you both feel more supported and connected.
Start by Getting Clear with Yourself
Before having the conversation, take a moment to check in with yourself. How are you feeling about your incontinence? Are you embarrassed, frustrated, or maybe anxious about how your partner will react? It’s okay to feel these emotions, and taking the time to understand them can help you communicate more clearly.
When we don’t address our feelings first, it can be hard to talk about sensitive topics like this. So, give yourself a little space to process. This will also help you feel more confident when you do bring it up with your partner.
Choose the Right Time and Place
Timing matters. The conversation will likely go better if it happens in a private, comfortable setting - somewhere where you both feel at ease. Avoid bringing it up in a rush or when either of you is distracted. Instead, find a quiet moment when you can talk without interruptions. This will give you both the space to process what’s being said without feeling pressured.
Be Honest, But Don’t Overwhelm
When it’s time to talk, start with honesty. You don’t need to dive into every detail at once. Something simple like, “I’ve been dealing with something that’s been affecting me, and I want to talk about it with you,” can set the tone for the conversation.
The goal isn’t to overwhelm your partner but to let them know this is important. You might want to say something like, “I’ve been managing incontinence for a while now, and it’s been challenging for me.” This way, your partner can better understand the significance of the issue without being overwhelmed by technical or medical details.
Be Prepared for Their Response
It’s natural to wonder how your partner will respond, and they may need some time to process the information. They might have questions or even feel a little unsure of what to say. Be patient with them, just as you hope they’ll be patient with you.
Let them know that it’s okay for them to have questions or concerns. For example, you could say, “I know this might be a lot to take in. Feel free to ask me anything, and we can talk through it together.” This gives your partner the freedom to ask questions without feeling like they’re stepping on your feelings.
Reassure Them
Incontinence can sometimes feel like a burden, but it’s important to remember that you’re not asking your partner to fix the situation. You’re sharing this with them because you want them to be a part of your journey and understand the situation so that they can support you. Let them know that you don’t need them to “fix” anything - just to understand and be there for you.
It might help to reassure them by saying, “I’m not asking you to solve this, but your support means a lot to me.” This lets them know that your biggest need is their understanding and emotional support.
Focus on Teamwork
When you talk about incontinence, frame it as something that you’re both handling together. You’re in this as a team. You could say, “I’m telling you this because I want us to be on the same page,” or “Let’s figure this out together.”
There’s strength in approaching this as a partnership. Urinary incontinence can affect both your emotional well-being and your daily routines, so having a partner who’s supportive and involved can make all the difference. It’s not about one person carrying the weight, but about both of you finding ways to manage it together.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
If your partner isn’t sure how to offer support, let them know what would be most helpful for you. It could be something as simple as helping you research treatment options or just being a listening ear when things feel tough.
Sometimes, your partner might not know what to do, but by telling them what you need, you can take the guesswork out of it. This makes it easier for them to be a positive support system, whether that means attending doctor’s appointments with you or helping out with tasks when your symptoms are worse.
Keep Talking
Incontinence isn’t something that should be discussed just once. Make it an ongoing conversation, so you both feel comfortable checking in with each other. As time goes on, things might change, and you’ll want to make sure you’re both on the same page as you adjust to new routines.
It’s also important to check in on how your partner is feeling. After the initial conversation, ask, “How are you feeling about everything we talked about?” This keeps the dialogue open and shows that you care about their thoughts and feelings as well.
Seek Additional Support
If you find it hard to talk about incontinence or if your partner is having trouble understanding, seeking external help can make things easier. Talking to a healthcare provider together can provide both of you with information about treatments and management.
Joining a support group for people experiencing incontinence can also be helpful. Hearing other people’s stories can give you both a sense of community and reassurance that you’re not alone.
Opening up about how to talk about incontinence is a challenging but important step in strengthening your relationship. By being honest, patient, and focused on teamwork, you can turn an awkward conversation into one that brings you closer. Remember, you’re in this together, and with communication and support, you can navigate this challenge as a team.
